Beto O’Rourke is a furry, a hacker, a drunk driver, a terrible bass player, a worse skateboarder, fantasizes about running over children, and used to call himself Psychedelic Warlord. Those are all pretty disqualifying but the real reason why he’ll never be president is because he has shit ideas. Speaking of shit ideas and major disqualification, O’Rourke once tried to trick his wife into eating their children’s poop. I can see why democrats think this guy is a rockstar.
In one of the many Washington Post fluff pieces on O’Rourke, this disturbing little detail came out. The WaPo puts everything behind a paywall these days, so f*ck them, they get no link. This information is a available everywhere else. In any case, check this shit (literally) out:
And then there were the pranks: the remote-controlled cockroach in the kitchen, the “Psycho”-style scares in the shower. One time, according to a friend, Beto collected an especially verdant turd from one of their kids’ diapers and put it in a bowl, telling Amy it was avocado. (Neither would confirm this, though Beto did allow it sounded like something he’d do.)
What a guy, huh? There is so much terribleness going on here I don’t know where to start. I guess maybe we’ll go with the fact that he took a gross green shit out one of his children’s diapers and put it in a bowl that presumably the family usually eats food out of. How did he make the transfer? Bare handed?
Then, what was his end game? Was he hoping his wife wouldn’t notice that horrific smell and try some of his fecal guacamole? Did he give her tortilla chips to go with it? Maybe made out of dried baby puke and snot? I wonder if his wife fell for this disgusting ruse if he would have stopped her before she ate it. Probably not, he seems like kind of dick.
Making this the most Beto thing ever, he says he doesn’t specifically remember doing this but agrees it sounds like something he would do. How do you not remember taking shit out of your baby’s diaper and trying to serve it to your wife? Also, what does it say about his character that he feels like doing something this disturbing is definitely in his wheelhouse?
This disgusting prank sounds pretty plausible to me. Beto O’Rourke clearly doesn’t think much of his family. Last November he did an interview with 60 Minutes in which he said he would not run for president because it would destroy his family.
“Amy and I are raising an 11-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 7-year-old. And we spent the better part of the last two years not with each other, missing birthdays and anniversaries and time together. And we … our family could not survive more of that. We, we need to be together,” said O’Rourke.
Last week O’Rourke flip-flopped and announced that he is running for president. Based on his previous statement, he has chosen a doomed-to-fail presidential campaign over his own family. He said straight that his family wouldn’t survive if he ran and he is running. Like I said, what a guy.
Considering his treatment of his own family and his complete lack of platform Beta O’Dork’s campaign slogan should be “Eat shit and f*ck off.” I think that might actually be the DNC’s official slogan, but I’m sure they’d let him use it. Next to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, he’s the biggest star of the Democratic Party.
