Netflix keeps cancelling cools shows like Santa Clarita Diet and bleeding content, but they are aiming to give customers more value for their subscription dollars. The streaming service gave the Obamas a zillion dollars to produce content and the list of projects the former first couple have in store was just released. Among other things, they will be making a scripted series about vegetables. AYFKM? I think I speak for all Netflix customers when I say we’d literally rather watch anything than this. How about a test pattern or perhaps a live feed of paint drying?
There’s a popular misconception that because the Obamas are black and once lived in the White House that they are interesting. They are not. In fact, a cold reading of banking regulations would be infinitely more entertaining than anything these two could come up with. Speaking of which, the Obamas just announced their slate of Netflix programming and it’s as stupor-inducing as an opioid overdose:
Among the projects announced Tuesday are “American Factory,”…The documentary “takes a deep dive into a post-industrial Ohio, where a Chinese billionaire opens a new factory in the husk of an abandoned General Motors plant and hires two thousand blue-collar Americans.” But, according to Higher Ground, “early days of hope and optimism give way to setbacks as high-tech China clashes with working-class America.”
Yawn.
Also poised to be released over the next several years, according to the company, is “Bloom,” a scripted series set in the New York fashion world “that depicts barriers faced by women and by people of color in an era marked by hurdles but also tremendous progress.”
What part of “yawn” don’t you understand?
Other projects include a feature film about Frederick Douglass based on David W. Blight’s award-winning biography of the abolitionist and former slave.
“Crip Camp” will detail a real-life summer camp for disabled children that was created in the 1970s near Woodstock. “Moneyball” author Michael Lewis will head up a nonfiction series about “the importance of unheralded work done by everyday heroes guiding our government and safeguarding our nation.” And another project will adapt the New York Times’s obituary column “Overlooked” into a scripted series.
Holy shit! They’re going to turn the NYT obituary section into a TV show? That’s like the idea you have when you’ve completely run out of ideas only worse.
Oddly enough, that wasn’t the bottom of the barrel because this is the Obama’s signature project:
Another show aimed at families…is called “Listen to Your Vegetables & Eat Your Parents.” The program will tell preschoolers stories about food. As first lady, Michelle Obama launched a food and exercise–focused anti-childhood obesity initiative called the Let’s Move! campaign.
This seems kind of a fitting show to come from these creatively bankrupt individuals. Michelle once forced American school children to eat terrible tasting vegetable based lunches and Barack used to say it was easier to buy a gun than a vegetable. That doesn’t mean anyone will watch this piece of crap, but at least it’s in their wheelhouse.
What this announcement of Obama shows really says is that Netflix just flushed millions of dollars down the toilet. Nobody is going to watch any of this shit and having this content on their service will not attract any new customers. In fact, they’ll probably lose subscribers because of it. In fact, with all of the Marvel and Star Wars/Fox stuff moving to Disney’s streaming service, Netflix is in deep shit.
Hey, Obama sank the economy and the democratic party, so maybe it’s appropriate that he and his masculine wife put Netflix out of business. They destroy everything they touch.
