Nooooooo!!! The funniest candidate in the field of 2020 democrats just dropped out of the race. Citing his 0% of support and lack of funds, Eric Swalwell dropped a nuclear bomb on his campaign. I’m particularly sad about this because the guy is such a whopping moron I was getting at least 2 hilarious articles a week out of him. Now who am I supposed to make fun of? Sure the other 24 democrats are ridiculous, but they lack the comedy that only Swalwell could bring. Hopefully Joes Biden’s handlers take off his reigns and let him run loose because the 2020 democratic primary needs some entertainment value.
Fox News brings this bit of sadness:
California Rep. Eric Swalwell on Monday dropped out of the race for his party’s presidential nomination, becoming the first of what’s expected to be many Democrats to give up their presidential aspirations as the crowded field winnows down.
Swalwell, who in recent polls failed to garner even one percent among primary and caucus voters, said he was abandoning his presidential run in favor of focusing on getting reelected to House of Representatives.
“Being honest with ourselves, we had to look at how much money we were raising and where we were in the polls. We have to be honest about our candidacy,” said Swalwell.
It’s weird how Swalwell’s first moment of honesty comes as he quits in defeat, isn’t it?
In an efforts to rub it that we won’t have Duke Nukem to kick around anymore, he endorsed a lesbian soccer player for president:
“If Megan Rapinoe gets in the race, I’ll probably endorse her,” Swalwell said.
See what I mean? Even Kirsten Gillibrand can’t bring that level of stupid to the race. Speaking of which, I bet she’s the next to drop out.
Since Swalwell is gone I think it’s only proper to have an in memoriam of his greatest hits:
REP. ERIC SWALWELL THREATENS TO NUKE GUN OWNERS WHO DON’T SURRENDER THEIR WEAPONS
REP. ERIC ‘DUKE NUKEM’ SWALWELL INVENTS NEW RIGHT HE CLAIMS BEATS THE 2ND AMENDMENT
ERIC “DUKE NUKEM’ SWALWELL DEMANDS SPEED LIMIT FOR GUNS
ERIC SWALWELL JUSTIFIES GUN CONFISCATION WITH CLAIM THAT BRITISH NEVER TRIED TO DISARM COLONISTS
BRING IT, FOOL! ERIC SWALWELL THREATENS TO JAIL AMERICANS WHO WON’T SURRENDER THEIR GUNS
ERIC SWALWELL APOLOGIZES FOR BEING WHITE
ERIC SWALWELL SAYS HE’LL GET RID OF TRUMP IF YOU GIVE HIM $5
ERIC SWALWELL WANTS TO NUKE YOU FOR HAVING MORE THAN 200 ROUNDS OF AMMO
ERIC SWALWELL VOWS TO FIGHT TRUMP IN THE STREETS TO KEEP HIM FROM DEPORTING ‘HISPANICS’
ERIC SWALWELL WANTS TO ‘FIRE THE SH*T’ OUT OF IVANKA TRUMP
And just 2 days ago Swalwell predicted that Mitch McConnell would be out of the Senate after the 2020 election:
When asked how he would pass gun control as president with Republican Mitch McConnell blocking stupid liberal bullshit bills in the Senate, Swalwell said this:
“And so the message I take away from that is we should not be afraid to address this issue and negotiate up. So let’s beat Mitch McConnell and let’s talk about gun safety in Kentucky and Arizona and Maine and all these other states, because the moms are with us. And so we have a lot of momentum to seize right now. So I’m not even accepting the premise that Mitch McConnell is going to be there,” Swalwell said.
So 2 days ago he predicted McConnell would be done but lacked the prognostication skills to see his presidential campaign taking a shit. Again, I’m going to miss him.
My only hope is that the liberal media starts paying attention to Beto O’Rourke again because he says some profoundly stupid things. The problem is, since he lost his “rockstar” status nobody covers the hilarious things he says and does. Seriously, this campaign needs some comic relief because otherwise it’s just a bunch of dangerous America-hating socialists and there’s nothing entertaining about that.
