Yesterday Beto O’Rourke demonstrated that he has no idea how to make a hamburger and effectively disqualified himself from contention in the 2020 presidential race. Today Bernie Sanders did his best to disqualify himself by showing off his hands and working a speed bag. In reality, the bag kicked his ass. This would be sad if Bernie had any dignity but he doesn’t so it’s absolutely hilarious.
Here’s what a 77-year-old communist looks like when he’s trying to punch a speed bag:
Taking just one more swing at “real” socialismpic.twitter.com/UqheAjfOD3
— Young Americans Against Socialism (@YAAS_America) August 27, 2019
Keep in mind that the speed bag is an inanimate object and yet somehow juts beat the shit out of a living breathing human being. How’s he going to take out the rest of the democrats in the race when he can’t even beat a punching bag? As for Trump? Forget it.
Bernie is apparently shifting the focus of his campaign to making himself look like an insufferable asshole as well. In related news, Politico reports the crotchety septuagenarian lost support at a San Francisco restaurant recently:
BERNIE THE CRANK? Dems in town for DNC packed in John’s Grill, the 111-year old bistro that’s become a go-to for pols in San Francisco. Owner John Konstin tells POLITICO he hosted a full house, including a big party with Secretary of State Alex Padilla and Lt. Gov. Eleni Kounalakis, all led by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who was “pure class.”
Says Konstin: “It was all very nice, except for cranky Bernie.” The Vermont senator (who ordered lobster bisque, an heirloom tomato salad and a Diet Coke) arrived for dinner with about 15 of his team — but “he didn’t want to shake hands, he didn’t want a picture,’’ Konstin reports. And there was no campaign face, either, apparently: “He wasn’t nice to any of the staff,’’ says the veteran restaurateur. The “rude and cranky” 2020 candidate did have an impact, Konstin says. “He lost my vote.”
I, for one, am shocked. Who would have thought that a guy who is literally angry all the time would be kind of dick in person.
Bernie may be trying to make himself appear as unappealing as possible but at least he hasn’t abandoned his core beliefs that communism is the bees knees. In an interview with The Hill, he furiously masturbated to China’s treatment of the poor:
“But what we have to say about China in fairness to China and it’s leadership is if I’m not mistaken they have made more progress in addressing extreme poverty than any country in the history of civilization, so they’ve done a lot of things for their people,” said Sanders.
Yet another shocker: communist guy loves communism.
What he fails to mention about China’s “progress” in dealing with extreme poverty is that they either kill or jail the poor people, but hooray for Communism!
These 3 stories are all you even need t know about Bernie Sanders:
1) He’s an extremely old man with absolutely no athletic ability or even basic motor functions.
2) He’s a rich elitist who treats working people like shit, because he doesn’t really care.
3) He’s a commie.
Any one of these things is disqualifying but putting them together in a progressive hat-trick should spell the end of his presidential hopes. Of course, leftists love soy boy beta male asshole socialists so he’ll have enough support to keep his campaign going just long enough to eventually lose to a more establishment candidate.
