Hollywood was completely out of ideas when the Summer of Floyd Riots and Black Lives Matter happened and they suddenly thought: “What if we reboot a bunch of crap with minorities?” The fruits of this creative genius are a black version of The Wonder Years and a Samoan Doogie Howser, M.D. Wokeness generally leads to brokeness but people don’t watch network TV anymore, so why should they care?
The original Doogie Howser M.D. was about a teenage genius prodigy who became a doctor at age 14, played by the incomparable Neil Patrick Harris. The medical drama (I thought it was a comedy) was a big hit for ABC and ran from 1989-1993. It was however insufferably white and male, so ABC has rebooted it as Doogie Kameāloha, M.D.:
Doogie is now a Samoan girl, played by a Chinese actress because they couldn’t find any native Hawaiians for the role. I guess they figured as long as she is an Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI), nobody would care.
The Wonder Years was a coming-of-age comedy-drama set in the late 1960s/early 1970s, following the life of suburban middle class kid, Kevin Arnold, played by the incomparable Fred Savage. It was a hit for ABC and ran from 1988-1993. It too was insufferably white, so it’s now been rebooted as a dark comedy:
Now The Wonder Years is set in Montgomery, Alabama and follows the life of Dean Williams, a young middle class black kid. Apparently the show will dovetail with real events of the late 1960’s civil rights movement, including the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. That sounds hilarious.
Both of these shows originally aired on ABC and ran from 1988-1993. Now they are both rebooted with minority cast members. If that’s the period they are culling for their woke-ass reboots from, I think it’s safe to assume we will be treated by an illegal alien transgender Seaver family in the new Growing Pains.
Actually, and this is no bullshit, ABC is rebooting Bewitched with a black actress playing the roll of Samantha the witch. The premise is: Samantha is a single mother witch, with a witchiepoo daughter who marries a mortal white man and interracial hilarity ensues.
For some reason, this only works in one direction. There are no white reboots of classic black sitcoms. Don’t we deserve an all-white Sanford and Son? Or maybe a white What’s Happening!! staring Melissa McCarthy as Rerun? Sorry, that’s the only fat white comedian I can think of.
To follow the the string of events, let’s go back to Minneapolis in 2020: George Floyd, a black drug addict and criminal, tried to pass a counterfeit bill while high on lethal doses of meth and fentanyl. He died of a heart attack brought on by the drug overdose while resisting arrest. Rage over the “injustice” of this all resulted in months of race riots that saw thousands of businesses looted and burned and billions of dollars damage inflicted.
As part of this racial unrest, black people unleashed a wave of violence against Asians, blaming them for everything from poverty to COVID-19.
Because of all this, guilty white Hollywood decided to fix the racism in America by giving us Black Lives Matter Wonder Years and AAPI Doogie.
