Nearing the end of his disastrous first year in the White House, Joe Biden has decided to shake things up. He should fire every single person advising him but instead, he got rid of his dog, Major. It seems the illegitimate president isn’t just overwhelmed by the presidency, he’s so incompetent he can’t even handle taking care of his dog.
When Biden stole the White House he had 2 dogs, Champ and Major. Champ died, probably because he knew too much, and Major had issues with biting administration staffers. Knowing that it would look suspicious if he made 2 dogs disappear, Joe has decided to give Major away.
A spokesman for Jill Biden, Michael LaRosa, broke the news:
“After consulting with dog trainers, animal behaviorists, and veterinarians, the First Family has decided to follow the experts’ collective recommendation that it would be safest for Major to live in a quieter environment with family friends. This is not in reaction to any new or specific incident, but rather a decision reached after several months of deliberation as a family and discussions with experts,” said LaRosa.
Joe Biden is abandoning his dog just like he did with thousands of Americans in Afghanistan. Actually, Biden abandoned American dogs in Afghanistan too, so this is old hat for him.
In order to keep people from thinking he’s a piece of shit for ditching his dog, he’s bringing in a cute new puppy to distract:
Welcome to the White House, Commander. pic.twitter.com/SUudQnPv29
— President Biden (@POTUS) December 20, 2021
That’s a four-month-old German Shepard named Commander. It was a gift from Joe’s brother, James, so in all likelihood it was part of a dirty deal with Communist China. Speaking of which, the dog’s nickname is “Commie.” Joe’s as bad at naming dogs as he is owning them.
Here’s the thing with Major, there are no bad dogs, just bad dog owners. Someone who doesn’t have the time to take care of a large working dog, should never get one. Something small and effeminate like a Pomeranian is more Joe’s speed.
As it turns out, getting rid of Major was part of a pussy-related conspiracy. LaRosa said that Jill is bringing a cat to the White House in January. The reason why the feline’s arrival has been put off is because they had to get rid of Major first. The illegitimate first lady told The NYT, that Major’s biting issues are why the cat is being delayed.
With Major now out of the picture, let’s take a look back at his brief run as First Dog:
On National Cat Day Joe Biden Says He Has A Dog
Joe Biden’s Psychic Dogs Fail To Warn Him About Ankle Injury
Joe Biden Says He Broke His Foot Running Naked Down An Alleyway After His Dog
Biden’s Dog ‘Deported’ To Delaware After Biting White House Security Officer
Good boy!
Liberals used to slam Donald Trump because he didn’t bring a dog to the White House. They said it showed what kind of person he is. Joe Biden just ditched his dog because he couldn’t handle it. I doubt liberals will point out that this also shows what kind of person Joe is: a total failure.
