This week liberals were slapped with the cold hard reality that killing unborn babies is not a Constitutional right. Here’s some other WTF? that also isn’t protected by the Bill of Rights:
Headline of the Week
Viewers gobsmacked as man uses penis on his arm to hold his darts on Channel 4 documentary
Channel 4 viewers were left gobsmacked when Malcolm Macdonald used a penis on his arm to hold his darts on The Man With A Penis on His Arm.
The 47-year-old had a new penis grafted onto his arm for six years after his old penis turned black and fell off into the toilet due to a terrible blood infection. A doctor built him a new six-inch penis and it was due to be attached in 2015 but, due to a lack of oxygen in his blood, it was grafted onto his arm.
Malcolm endured a lengthy wait to have it back between his legs because of a mix of hospital delays and the coroanvirus pandemic – and in the ensuing period had to cover up his manhood with long sleeved tops while being extra careful when hugging people. An extraordinary Channel 4 documentary followed his candid day-to-day struggles and left viewers open mouthed as they watched last night.
They were even more shocked when Malcolm showed how he would use the phalloplasty penis to hold his darts.
The new penis had been created by Professor David Ralph at London’s University College Hospital, who made it out of flesh from the man’s arm in order to let him feel. On the show, Malcolm discussed how the successful operation will now completely turn his life around.
His dart game is going to suffer, though.
Gamer of the Week
A 24-year-old Vietnamese man had to have a steel nut cut from his penis using a drill after getting it stuck while pleasuring himself.
The unidentified patient went to hospital in Ho Chi Minh city where he told doctors the fastener had been stuck there for 10 hours.
He admitted that he had shoved the 2cm (0.7inch) thick hexagonal nut around his shaft to enhance his masturbation experience.
The uncircumcised patient complained that his penis had become numb and that he was unable to urinate.
His penis was so swollen that doctors could not remove the makeshift pleasure ring by hand, and were forced to use a dental drill to cut it off.
You know you’re a loser when you play a game against yourself and get your ass kicked this badly.
Sack of the Week
‘Testicle’ fish has social media convinced it’s really a ‘sex toy’
A video of a fish shaped like a pair of testicles has been circulating online — and social media users are extremely entertained.
Roman Fedortsov, a fisherman and photographer from Murmansk, Russia, loves to share all of his weird findings out at sea.
The 39-year-old adventurer has previously released imagesof a fish that some suggested looked like a vagina, and now he’s shared a clip to Instagram of a slimy-textured, lewd-looking fish that resembles testicles and has garnered more than 363,000 views and topped 10,400 likes.
Fedortsov captioned the post — translated from Russian — simply: “And such ‘unusual’ representatives of the underwater world are caught in the trawler.”
Instagram users immediately found the humor in the resemblance.
“The forbidden fleshlight,” one viewer commented with a reference to the popular autoerotic device, with another agreeing, “Okay this one is clearly a sextoy.”
“Chill, my girlfriend is looking over my shoulder,” someone else quipped, with one person adding: “Dear reader: you don’t need to call them.”
Russians may not have any balls but their fish sure do.
Doggy Style of the Week
Pets at Home shoppers shocked at new advert that appears to show groomer holding a dog’s genitals
Pets at Home is a recognisable brand to any pet owner. With 453 stores and 316 grooming salons in the UK, the company has a nationwide reach, making it the go-to spot for all Brits’ animal needs.
However, recently that reach has taken on a whole new meaning after one startled member of the public spotted a rather strange looking advert outside one of the Pets at Home outlets. The picture that accompanied the text advertising the brand’s grooming services was of a person and a poodle – pretty normal, right?
That is until you notice where one of the human model’s hands is, down by the dog’s genitals. This wasn’t lost on the person that saw the ad, who took to the company’s Facebook page to point out the odd-looking pose to the pet store’s marketing team.
The post reads: “Good afternoon. Just wondering if you realised that the staff member/model is cupping the dog’s genitals in the promotional poster,” adding “if you have realised- what is the reason?”
The person also commented on the advert itself, which was informing people about Pets at Home ‘poodles & oodles’ treatment saying: “Hopefully the ‘poodles & oodles’ additional service isn’t a euphemism”.
It’s called a “happy ending.”
Husband of the Week
Man who stabbed wife in genital area so she wouldn’t be able to have affair gets 5 years’ jail
A 65-year-old mentally disordered man who believed that his wife of 31 years was having an affair repeatedly stabbed and slashed her with four large knives.
As Madam Lee Siew Cheng, 61, lay on the floor, Fong Tuck Whye stabbed her in her genital area so that she would not be able to have an affair with her alleged lover.
When she tried to defend herself, Fong sprayed insecticide into her eyes to stop her from resisting.
Madam Lee, who was confined to a wheelchair, managed to call for help and survived the attack.
The man who Fong believed was his wife’s lover was the head of a community services programme that visited the couple to help them, after Madam Lee approached the centre as she felt her husband had a mental illness.
On Friday (May 6), Fong, now 67, was sentenced to five years’ jail by the High Court after he pleaded guilty to a charge of attempted culpable homicide for the attack on the morning of Aug 10, 2019.
She sure called it on the mental illness thing.
Boyfriend of the Week
Mom finds boyfriend in bed with 7-year-old, hits him with car when he ran
A Lubbock man was arrested this week and is facing charges of aggravated sexual assault of a child that happened in August 2021.
According to the police report, a woman called 911 around 1 a.m. on August 8 saying she found her boyfriend in bed with her 7-year-old.
The boyfriend has been identified in the police report as 29-year-old Delmer Orlando Ortiz Licona. In the Lubbock County Detention Center, his name is listed as Orlando Delmer-Ortiz.
When the woman called 911, she started yelling, “what are you doing to her?” She then told the dispatcher she needed an officer at her home. She said, “I just found my man, huh, whoever lives with me, naked in the bed with my daughter.” She continues with, “please hurry, he’s running away, please hurry.”
When the dispatcher asked, “And he’s your boyfriend?” The woman responded, “He’s supposed to be, but you hurry up or I’m going to kill him. I’m going to f*****g kill him. Please hurry, please hurry. I’m fixing to kill him, hurry please, please hurry, please f*****g hurry. He’s jumping the fence. He’s f*****g jumping the fence. Hurry.”
The 911 call-taker asked what his name is. The woman said, “It’s Delmer, he’s from Honduras.”
The 911 call-taker heard the woman tell the child to get in the car. The dispatcher asked if the child was ok. The woman said, “Yes, I got home just on time.”
She told the 911 call-taker she was following the male and, “I’m not going to deal with it.”
Then the 911 call-taker heard a loud sound that sounded like something was hit and then a little girl started screaming and crying. The dispatcher heard someone say, “Please get an ambulance.”
When asked why, the woman said, “He’s in the alley, he just got in front of my car. He just got in front of my car, sir.”
The 911 call-taker asked, “Did you just hit him?”
The woman said, “Yes, he jumped right in front of my car, he jumped right in front of my car, sir.”
She said he was passed out drunk, but he was okay, and she was ok. The call ended.
She should have parked the car on his genitals.
Brother of the Week
A German man who fathered four children with his sister – and then claimed an incest conviction breached his human rights – is continuing to call for an end to laws banning their relationship.
Patrick Stuebing, 44, from Leipzig, was adopted as a child and did not meet his younger sister Susan Karolewski, 37, until he tracked down his natural family in his 20s.
After he moved into their mother’s home, Stuebing and Karolewski started having sex a month after meeting and began pursuing a romantic relationship.
The couple, who have long defended their relationship, went on to have four children between 2001 and 2005 – two of whom are disabled.
Previously speaking about their union, Patrick said: ‘We do not feel guilty about what has happened between us. We want the law which makes incest a crime to be abolished.’
When Stuebing was 18 he decided to find his biological parents.
Four years later he tracked down his mother and discovered Susan.
He moved in, and, astonishingly, Ana Marie allowed him to share her young daughter’s bedroom.
Speaking about his relationship with the then-15-year-old in 2007, he said: ‘We both stayed up late into the night to talk to each other about our hopes and dreams.’
The couple began sleeping together months later, and it was later revealed in court they had slept together sixteen times between January and August 2001.
They rarely used protection.
‘We didn’t even know we were doing anything wrong when we started sleeping together.
‘We didn’t think about using a condom.
We didn’t know it was illegal to sleep together.
Stuebing has since been sterilised in the mistaken belief that if he has no more children with his sister, he will evade jail.
And yet both are apparently in denial about their children’s disabilities, despite expert opinion.
‘Two of our children are disabled,’ said Stuebing.
‘But that is not necessarily anything to do with the fact that we are siblings.
Yeah, lighten up. 50% of their kids don’t have lobster claws for hands.
Cleaner of the Week
Man gets carpet cleaning ball stuck up his bum
A man arrived at A&E recently with a plastic ball from a carpet cleaning machine stuck in his rectum. It had a diameter of around 7cm to 8cm.
The man, 51, had inserted the ball two days before, but went to hospital after ending up in pain.
He claimed he and his wife had used the ball to ‘treat his haemorrhoids’ – but doctors could find no evidence of any haemorrhoids.
The man said he had attempted to extract the ball himself using a screwdriver and a spoon, but he could not get it to move.
Doctors examined the patient and said he was well, stable and cooperative and discovered scratches around his anus.
They used x-rays and an abdominal CT scan to locate the ball, but attempts to remove it failed so an extraction was booked in the following morning.
Medics then tried to remove the ball under general anaesthetic, which did not work as the ball was wider than the pelvic outlet.
They then attempted laparotomy, where abdominal wall layers are opened layer by layer, and tried to push the ball down through the rectum.
However this still didn’t work.
Eventually surgeons decided to chop the ball up to make the extraction easier.
They used an electric drill to puncture the ball and break it into three parts.
After seven gruelling hours of surgery the man was discharged with a colostomy bag, and a proctosigmoidoscopy examination two months later.
Or doctors didn’t find any “haemorrhoids” because the ball worked.
Undertaking of the Week
Vile undertaker invited man to have sex with dead body and took pics with corpse
A vile undertaker posed for pictures next to ‘fit’ corpses and asked another man to the mortuary to have sex with dead body.
Nigel Robinson-Wright said he would give the man crystal meth to engage in necrophilia in the chapel of rest, and would regularly chat with paedophiles and animal abusers on the internet.
Kim Whittlestone, prosecuting, told Preston Crown Court that the 42-year-old would also those with an interest in dead bodies using military-grade encrypted chatrooms.
He also arranged to meet a pervert who was offering a toddler to be raped and spurred on a man as he sexually abused a puppy, Lancs Live reports.
But police lifted the lid on Robinson-Wright’s sinister sexual world following the arrest of a paedophile in London in September 2021.
Online chats between the two men led them to the funeral director and on November 1 2021, officers visited Robinson-Wright at his home in Chain Lane, Blackpool.
Ms Whittlestone told the court a number of digital devices were seized and some examined at the scene.
She said: “He was in possession of indecent images and there was evidence of him distributing images. Extreme pornography was discovered, involving torture and sexual abuse of children and animals.
“The defendant had been in contact with others via social media and had been organising the commission of sexual offences against children, dogs and dead bodies.”
Robinson-Wright gave no comment when he was interviewed by police but later pleaded guilty to: arranging the commission of a child sexual offence, three counts of making indecent images, eight counts of distributing indecent images, possession of a prohibited image of a child, possession of extreme pornography, two counts of intentionally encouraging or assisting the commission of an offence by inviting an unknown man to the mortuary and encouraging a man to sexually abuse a dog, and attempting to supply a class A drug.
Weirdly enough, he wasn’t charged with any kind of corpse f*cking.
Mistake of the Week
Black woman shot by white South African who claimed he ‘mistook her for a hippo’
A man has appeared in court after shooting at a couple, wounding one of them, and claiming that he thought he was “shooting at a hippo”.
Paul Hendrik van Zyl, a white South African farmer from northern Limpopo province. faces attempted murder charges.
Ramokone Linah was fishing with her partner in a river adjoining van Zyl’s farm in Lephalale town, when they suddenly came under fire.
Ms Linah, 38, sustained gun shot wounds on her arm, while her partner “managed to hide” before informing police and emergency services, a police report said.
When police arrived at the scene, van Zyl claimed that he thought the couple were “hippos and monkeys”.
“The arrested suspect alleged that he was shooting at the animals ” police spokesperson, Mamphaswa Seabi, said in a statement.
He’s got a solid defense if she’s fat.
Mug of the Week
Man charged after officers find meth on his person during traffic stop in White Hall
A man has been charged after officers found methamphetamine on his person during a traffic stop in White Hall.
On May 4, officers with the White Hall Police Department observed a Toyota 4-Runner which was missing an inspection sticker driving in White Hall, according to a criminal complaint.
Officers then activated their cruiser’s emergency lights and siren to perform a traffic stop on the vehicle. Officers made contact with the vehicle’s occupants, one of whom was identified as Ernest Eavenson, 48.
The vehicle’s occupants then gave officers permission to search the vehicle, which resulted in officers locating 13.37 grams of methamphetamine and $525 in U.S. currency on Eavenson’s person, according to the complaint.
Imagine how much meth officers would have found if they got to him before he started smoking it.
WT Anal F? of the Week
Here’s the profane password Hunter Biden reportedly used for laptop
Hunter Biden used a profoundly profane password to protect one of his laptop computers, according to the repairman at the center of the scandal over the first son’s emails.
In “American Injustice: My Battle to Expose the Truth,” John Paul Mac Isaac details the day in April 2019 when Biden, reeking of booze, allegedly stumbled into his Wilmington, Del., shop shortly before closing time.
Biden carried three MacBook Pro computers and said, “I need the data recovered off these, but they all have liquid damage and won’t turn on,” Mac Isaac wrote in the book, according to an excerpt obtained by The Post.
One, a 15-inch model, “was a complete write-off” but another “was in slightly better shape” although “the keyboard was unresponsive,” Mac Isaac wrote.
“I pulled out an external keyboard and asked for permission to log in. Hunter started laughing,” Mac Isaac recalls.
“‘My password is f–ked up. Don’t be offended!’ he said.”
Biden then reportedly revealed the password was “‘analf–k69’ or something to that extent,” with Mac Isaac noting that Biden’s “inebriated condition” made it hard to understand him.
Hunter is such a crackhead he doesn’t realize you can’t but*ck in the 69 position.
WTF? of the Week
On May 5, Thursday, some unknown men dug out the corpse of a teenage girl and raped it in the Chak Kamala village in Gujrat, Pakistan.
Attaullah Tarar, the deputy secretary-general of the Pakistan Muslim League (PMLN), took to Twitter on May 6 to inform that 17 suspects are being interrogated and the investigation of the case is being done as per scientific methods.
According to reports, the shocking incident came to light when the deceased girl’s relatives visited the graveyard the next morning as per their religious traditions. The kin found the body dug up and lying uncovered. The body showed signs of rape.
The uncle of the deceased teenager approached the police and filed an FIR regarding the same. Based on the FIR, the police have started investigating the case. Reportedly, it is still unclear how many men were involved in this shocking incident.
According to local media reports, the teenage deceased girl, who was mentally and physically handicapped, died on May 4, Wednesday. The family buried her in the graveyard as per their religious traditions at around 6 pm in the evening and returned home.
The next day, when they returned to the graveyard to perform some rituals over the girl’s dead body the kin found the grave dug up and the girl’s body missing. Upon searching, they later found the corpse lying around 200 square feet away from the graveyard. It showed signs of rape.
The shocked family members rushed to the police station to file a complaint and demanded that the perpetrators of the heinous crime be brought to justice as soon as possible. The police, in turn, began their searches to look for and detain the grave-digger.
Islam is the religion of peace and digging up dead retarded girls to rape.
