Zero-percenter Kirsten Gillibrand was asked what her favorite food is and she blurted out “whiskey!” Maybe she’s a lush but more likely it’s because she’s not all that bright and didn’t fully understand the question. Rather than admit her mistake, she’s taking this idiocy and turning into the worst fundraising plan ever. If you donate some money to her doomed campaign, you could win a chance to go hang out and eat Gillibrand’s favorite food: whiskey. Sure, getting hammered with a dumb blonde has its appeal, but it would be better if she were actually hot.
Without further ado, here it is:
Now that the cat’s out of the bag about my go-to “comfort food” on the campaign trail, I’d love for you to grab a glass with me! Make a donation to enter: https://t.co/uP4eoX67Da pic.twitter.com/u2oixdpBGT
— Kirsten Gillibrand (@SenGillibrand) July 3, 2019
Is she going to talk? Because that would ruin it for me and probably everyone else.
I checked out the link and the deal is, you could win a trip to a mystery location where you’d get to hang out with Kirsten Gillibrand:
One (1) winner will receive the following prize package: round-trip tickets for winner and one guest from within the fifty U.S. States, DC, or Puerto Rico to meet Senator Gillibrand; one night’s hotel accommodations for winner and one guest; opportunity for winner and one guest to have dinner and a drink with Senator Gillibrand (approx. retail value $1,000).
If her favorite food is whiskey, that’s probably the dinner and I’m assuming the drink is like a steak or something.
Back in the lead-up to the 2016 election, Hillary Clinton ran a similar fundraising contest, which I entered just to be funny. I didn’t win, but then again neither did she. Ha!
I was willing to donate a dollar to enter this Gillibrand contest, but down in the fine print it says you don’t actually have to give up any money to enter, so I did:
If I win, I get to bring one person with me and I’ll hold my own contest to select a Def-Con News reader. I honestly can’t think of a better time the me and one of you getting shitfaced with Kirsten Gillibrand. Actually, I’m almost certain she’ll cancel the contest about two seconds into our conversation. Still, it’ll be hilarious.
As you know, Gillibrand is a democrat and as such, she supports open borders and amnesty for illegal aliens. That’s what makes this condition the enter seem kind of hypocritical:
I am a U.S. citizen or lawfully admitted permanent resident (i.e., green card holder).
Holy shit! She’s worse than Hitler. How dare she limit this contest to American citizens or legal residents? She’s fine with flooding the country with illegal aliens, but won’t even have a whiskey with one.
Here’s another curious condition:
I am at least eighteen years old.
She does know the legal drinking age is 21 in all 50 states, right? This is literally a contest in which the prize is drinking alcohol her her. Even she can be dense enough to think she can give whiskey to someone underage. Yeah, actually she can.
If this fundraising contest is a success, the other democrats are sure to follow because they all share a brain, which means we could…
Smoke a joint with Kamala Harris while listening to rap music that hasn’t been released yet.
Eat baby shit with Beto O’Rourke.
Pretend to drink a beer with Elizabeth Warren.
F*ck the Police with Pete Buttigieg.
Be Racist with Joe Biden.
Be a communist with Bernie Sanders.
