When last we heard from Bishop Talbert Swan he was calling all white women “racist trash” for not voting how he thinks they should vote. He’s back and taking things to a new low by claiming that Jesus, Santa Claus, and the Little Mermaid are all black. Why? It’s unclear. Maybe there isn’t any real racism to rage against so he has to make this shit up to justify his unnatural hatred of white folks.
There is actually a really long race war on Swan’s Twitter timeline with him telling white people that their mothers are whores who should have swallowed. It all started with him saying that Jesus Christ was black. When people pointed out that Jesus was Jewish and not black, Swan went crazy and dropped this lunacy:
Cleopatra was Black
The pharaohs were Black
Nefertiti was Black
Moses was Black
The real St Nicholas was Black
The real founder of the N. Pole was Black
Abraham was Black
Moses was Black
Aladdin is now Black
Ariel is now Black
Jesus was Black
Deal with it.
— Bishop Talbert Swan (@TalbertSwan) July 5, 2019
Let’s see if we can help the good pastor clear up some of his confusion:
Cleopatra was Black – Actually Cleopatra was Greek.
The pharaohs were Black – No, the pharaohs were Egyptian. While Egypt is in Africa, the people of the Mediterranean are different than sub-Saharan Africans AKA black people.
Nefertiti was Black – Nope. Nefertiti was also Egyptian.
Moses was Black – Moses was an Israelite.
The real St Nicholas was Black – Saint Nicholas of Myra was Greek. All Santa Claus mythology comes from white culture and traditions.
The real founder of the N. Pole was Black – Nobody founded the North Pole but the first guy to get there was Robert Peary and he was white.
Abraham was Black – See Moses.
Moses was Black – We already covered this. Moses wasn’t black and he definitely wasn’t double-black.
Aladdin is now Black – Mena Massoud who plays Aladdin in the most recent film is Egyptian. Will Smith who plays the Genie is black, but he is blue in the movie.
Ariel is now Black – Black actress Halle Baily has been cast as the Little Mermaid in the upcoming live-action version of the cartoon classic. Hey, Swan finally got one.
Jesus was Black – See Moses, Abraham, and Moses II. The real Jesus was Jewish and should not be confused with Adult Swim’s Black Jesus which was a bad TV show.
It’s unclear if Swan is just trying to troll whitey or if he believes this insane shit, but I tend to think he’s a crazy white-hating racist so I’m sure he thinks this is all real.
In the spirit of this, let’s troll him back and claim one of black people’s most revered figures for the honkies: Michael Jackson was white. Not only did the King of Pop have white skin, he had a bunch of white babies. The only way he wasn’t white is if he had skin whitening procedures and paid some white lady to give birth to some white kids that he falsely claimed as his own. I don’t think Micheal Jackson would do stuff like that. He wrote Thriller.
