76-year-old men don’t actually have any ass left which makes Joe Biden’s latest feat a somewhat of a miracle. The 2020 democratic candidate lied his ass off about not taking any campaign money from fossil fuel executives. He did this at a fundraiser hosted by a fossil fuel executive, which also takes a lot of balls. 76-year-old men actually do still have balls but they are dangling down somewhere around their knees, which is why they shouldn’t wear shorts.
Joe Biden actually found another way besides gaffes, racism, and senility to turn off democratic voters. During Wednesday’s CNN global warming town hall, Biden was called out for his hypocrisy. Like the rest of the democratic field, Biden had pledged to take no campaign contributions from fossil fuel executives and yet:
“I know that you signed a no fossil fuel money pledge, but I have to ask: How can we trust you to hold these corporations and executives accountable for their crimes against humanity when we know that tomorrow you are holding a high-dollar fundraiser hosted by Andrew Goldman, a fossil fuel executive,” asked an audience member.
The thing is, Andrew Goldman started a natural gas company, which qualifies as a fossil fuel company. Here was Biden’s attempt at the Jedi mind trick:
“He is not a fossil fuel executive,” said Biden before trying to change the subject.
This was such a dumb answer that moderator Anderson Cooper pointed out that Goldman had in fact formed a natural gas company and was a fossil fuel executive. Here’s what Biden had ro say in response:
“Well, I didn’t realize he does that,” replied Biden.
Cooper then asked if Biden was going to go ahead with the fundraiser hosted by fossil fuel executive Goldman.
“I’m going to look at what you told me and find out if that’s accurate, yes,” said Biden.
But Biden didn’t look at the information that was given to him because he went to the fundraiser anyways on Thursday night.
Fox News reports:
Former vice president and presidential candidate Joe Biden insisted at a top-dollar campaign fundraising event in New York City that he won’t take contributions from the fossil fuel industry.
But the Thursday night fundraising event was held at the ritzy Manhattan home of Andrew Goldman, who helped found a natural gas company.
Biden said there was a “misrepresentation” the previous night at the CNN town hall – when he was asked by a supporter of Sen. Bernie Sanders of Vermont why Biden should be trusted to tackle climate change when he was heading to a fundraiser co-hosted by Goldman, one of the founders of the Texas-based natural gas company LNG Western.
Without mentioning Goldman by name, Biden told the crowd at the fundraiser that “there was a discussion and I think a mild misrepresentation of what was going on relative to climate.”
Fox News pointed out that not only did Goldman found the natural gas company but is also listed as part of the leadership of LNG Western. That’s another way to say that he is an executive for a fossil fuel company and yet…
“I just want to be very clear to everyone here: I am committed to not raising money from fossil fuel executives and I am not doing that tonight,” said Biden.
In the famous words of Eddie Murphy, “Who are you going to believe? Me or your lying eyes?”
Gaffes and forgetting stuff are bad, but here Biden was at a fundraiser hosted by a guy who is clearly a fossil fuel executive, telling people he would never take money from fossil fuel executives.
It gets worse for Biden because on Friday he attended a campaign event in New Hampshire and a young woman asked him about this obvious bullshit.
“How can we trust that you’re going to act on climate, on the climate crisis if you’re still attending fundraisers that fossil fuel executives like Andy Goldman are at?” the woman asked.
Bien didn’t answer the question, but he did inappropriately grab the woman by her hands, making her uncomfortable, and said this:
“Kiddo, I want you to just take a look. You don’t have to agree, but I’d like you to look in my eyes. I guarantee you, I guarantee you, we’re going to end fossil fuel, and I am not going to cooperate,” replied Creepy Joe.
Yeah, he grabbed this woman and called her “kiddo.” Also he lied his flat nonexistent ass off while giving her a serious case of the willies. Also, I’m assuming the eyes he wanted her to look at were filled with blood, which makes this even freakier.
Biden’s entire campaign is based on the insane notion that he is the most electable candidate who can defeat President Trump. According to him, he is relatable to working class regular Americans. According to everyone else, he’s an ancient lying racist perv with serious health issues, who creeps people out.
The irony here is that Biden, at 76-years-old, actually qualifies as a fossil. Sooner than later, he’ll turn into fuel and be powering the “dirty” energy grid, which will be the the only useful thing he’s ever done.
