After weeks of “mostly peaceful” riots and looting, coronavirus cases have spiked and liberals are blaming people dining in restaurants and getting haircuts, not the tens of thousands of super-spreaders in the streets. Here’s some other WTF? that only makes sense if you turn off your brain:
Headline of the Week
Clacton sex pest Brian Wright ‘exposed his penis’ in public five times and filmed a man in a toilet
A prolific sex offender has been spared jail for a second time despite filming a man urinating in a public toilet and repeatedly exposing his penis in public.
Brian Wright, of Cloes Lane, Clacton, committed a sting of sex offences over a period of ten days in July last year, after he was previously let off for exposing himself.
He had already been made the subject of a five-year Sexual Harm Prevention Order back in October 2018 after he was seen “swinging his penis” in the woods and “masturbating near a hotel”.
The order banned him from exposing his genitals in public, but that didn’t stop the 29-year-old from revealing his private parts in Colchester and Clacton, Essex, last summer.
On March 6 this year, Wright was arrested again in connection with an offence of voyeurism and five breaches of his SHPO.
Police found that in the space of just ten days last summer, Wright had filmed a man urinating in a public toilet in Colchester before exposing his genitals in public in both the Colchester and Clacton areas.
On July 4, 2019, Wright filmed the man man urinating in a public toilet “for the purpose of obtaining sexual gratification”, before exposing his penis at Colchester train station that same day.
Three days later he did the same thing, only this time on a beach in Jaywick, before repeating the crime for a third time along Clacton seafront on July 10.
And on July 13, Wright exposed his genitals a further two times, first while urinating in a wooded area and second while laying on the beach in Clacton.
Brian Wright? More like Brian Wrong.
Porn Hub of the Week
Sex addict blames ‘scantily clad gamers’ on Twitch for injured penis
A California sex addict claims it’s game over for his penis because of “scantily clad gamers” on video game streaming site Twitch. The man is suing Twitch for $25 million U.S., saying gorgeous gamers have caused him to injure his penis.
Erik Estavillo filed a lawsuit in Santa Clara County court on June 15 alleging the popular site “subjected him to overly suggestive and sexual content from various female streamers.”
Estavillo claimed he had to use a Fleshlight to masturbate while watching the females, which caused him to chafe his penis every day.
He said this was “extremely painful” and caused him redness and mild infections that forced him to use “Neosporin on his tip to prevent necrosis,” according to the 56-page document.
Estavillo also alleges in the transcript he once ejaculated on his computer monitor, which caused a short-circuit and resulted in a fire that temporarily caused his apartment to go dark.
Estavillo says in the documents he has many ailments, including depression, agoraphobia, Crohn’s disease and OCD, plus sex addiction, which force him to be online all day.
He claims Twitch made things worse because “twisted programming and net code” made it “nearly impossible” for him to use the service without being exposed “to such sexual suggestive content.”
Estavillo reportedly follows 786 female gamers and no male counterparts. He names many of the females in his lawsuit. He asks for a permanent ban on all listed streamers and the millions in punitive damages.
Wait till this guy discovers there is actual pornography on the Interwebz.
Grub Hub of the Week
Leech swims up man’s penis, drinks pint of blood before docs pull it out
Doctors in Cambodia recently removed a leech that, in wince-worthy fashion, had entered an elderly man’s penis while he was swimming and drank a full pint of blood.
The unnamed patient first knew something was awry after experiencing severe pain while trying to use the bathroom, reports Viral Press. He wound up at a hospital in Phnom Penh, where a tiny camera was inserted into his penis, which revealed the culprit to be a leech.
The poor soul told doctors that he went swimming in a river earlier that day, leading them to deduce that the privacy-violating parasite had swum up his urethra and into his bladder. Indeed, the hospital warned locals in a statement that “the waters are rich with leeches and other insects during the rainy season.”
Unfortunately, removal was complicated by the fact that the interloper had ballooned up to a much larger size after sucking a pint of the victim’s blood — hence his pain while urinating. Not only that, but it had already injured parts of the man’s organs with its teeth, according to Viral Press.
To safely extract the vile visitor, doctors were forced to use a tiny probe with electric nodes and cutting tools at the end to kill the leech before yanking it back out the way it came in.
Fortunately, the man was released from the hospital after spending the night there and is said to be faring OK after the skin-crawling ordeal.
Even parasites like to go down to the pub for a pint.
Reveal of the Week
After 30 Years, Woman Finds Out She Is Genetically Male, Has Testicular Cancer
For thirty years she led a normal life with no complications, until recently, when doctors, while treating her for abdominal pain, discovered that she was a ‘man’ suffering from testicular cancer.
Surprisingly, her 28-year-old sister, who underwent necessary tests following the revelation, was also diagnosed with ‘Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome’ — a condition in which a person is born genetically male, but has all physical traits of a woman.
The 30-year-old Birbhum resident, married for the last nine years, had visited city-based Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose Cancer Hospital with severe pain in lower abdomen a couple of months ago, following which clinical oncologist Dr Anupam Dutta and surgical oncologist Dr Soumen Das conducted her medical tests, and found out her “true identity”.
“From her appearance, she is a woman. Starting from her voice, developed breasts, normal external genitalia, everything is that of a woman. However, uterus and ovaries have been absent since birth. She has also never experienced menstruation,” Dr Dutta told PTI.
It’s a very rare condition, and can be found one in every 22,000 people, he said.
After test reports suggested that the person has a “blind vagina”, doctors decided to conduct Karyotyping test, which revealed that her chromosome complement was ‘XY’ and not ‘XX’, as found in a woman.
“We conducted clinical examinations, after she complained of abdominal pain, and found out she has testicles inside her body. A biopsy was conducted, following which she was diagnosed with testicular cancer, also called seminoma,” Dr Dutta explained.
Currently, she is undergoing chemotheraphy and her health condition is stable.
“As her testicles remained undeveloped inside the body, there was no secretion of testosterone. Her female hormones, on the other hand, gave her the appearance of a
woman,” Dr Dutta stated.Asked about her reaction to the revelation, he said, “The person has grown up to be a woman. She is married to a man for almost a decade. Currently, we are counselling the patient and her husband, advising them to continue living life as they have been.”
You got a lot of balls, lady. This next guy? Not so much…
Nut of the Week
Black Lives Matter activist ‘lost a testicle after being shot with a rubber bullet fired by LAPD’
A Black Lives Matter activist was reportedly shot in the groin throughout a protest in Los Angeles, causing him to get rid of a testicle.
South African native Bradley Steyn, who had been involved in anti-apartheid protests in South Africa when that he was younger, claims the LAPD have the effect of his injuries, and that he now plans to sue.
Steyn claims that he was attacked by police during a May 30 George Floyd protest in Los Angeles’ Fairfax district.
‘I was marching peacefully with at the Black Lives Matter march on Saturday the 30th May, in Los Angeles, near Fairfax in memory of George Floyd and thus many other black Americans which were murdered in America. Apartheid-style,’ that he writes.
‘At the march I was shot by a member of the LAPD with a rubber bullet in the testicles. One which was ruptured and generated me very nearly bleeding from the streets of Los Angeles.’
…Steyn said: ‘Police used batons to a young woman who had been sitting on her behalf knees.
‘I tried to get him off her, and I was hit across chest by a police baton. A policeman saw me trying to physically push the cop off her and hit me in the chest. Then that he aimed for my genitalia – he was two or three feet away – and shot directly into my genitalia.’
When checking your white privilege goes wrong.
Dick of the Week
Florida man angry over store’s mask rule exposes himself in front of children
A Florida man angry about being asked to wear a mask in a store “dropped his shorts” and exposed himself while unleashing a stream of vulgarities at females in the business, deputies said Friday.
Paul-Elie Daniel Duval, 37, of Miami was charged Thursday with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and driving with a suspended license, the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office said.
The incident took place at the gift shop of Theater of the Sea, a marine-themed tourist attraction in Islamorada.
“Duval was asked by an employee to put a mask on. He declined to do so and began speaking in vulgar terms, particularly to the women in the room, including one minor girl, about his genitals, their bodies and pornography,” the sheriff’s office said.
Witnesses said more than one child was in the store at the time as Duval continuing using “course/foul sexual language,” according to the report.
A deputy stopped Duval shortly after he left the store Thursday morning.
Duval told a sergeant “he had to urinate and went to use the gift shop bathroom, but the staff refused to let him use the restroom, so he exposed himself,” the sheriff’s office said.
When in doubt, whip it out.
Gut Check of the Week
Man inserts 15-inch eel into his anus to ‘cure constipation’, doctors remove it from his gut
A man from China had to have a 15-inch eel pulled out from his gut after he reportedly inserted it into his rectum, in a desperate bid to cure his constipation.
The eel managed to tear a hole through his bowels. As a result, the man suffered severe sepsis, septic shock and was unable to communicate coherently, reports said.
After suffering severe pains in his stomach, the man was rushed to the Dongguan Huangjiang Hospital in Guangdong in China.
A CT scan revealed a foreign body in the abdominal cavity. But doctors were not sure what it was at first.
“He came in with septic shock. During a CT scan, we suspected a foreign body in his abdominal cavity, but we couldn’t tell what it was. Then while performing a colonoscopy, we discovered it was an Asian swamp eel (monopteros albus). It had entered his abdominal cavity,” Dr Li said.
After all the scans were done, the patient was quickly shifted for emergency surgery. During the operation, the doctors discovered the eel filled with waste matter, including excrement and pus from a severe infection.
Doctors managed to take a picture of the 15-inch eel, which was intact but dead by the time it was extracted.
“It was already dead. But it caused severe bacterial contamination in his abdomen due to a build-up of faeces and pus,” said Dr Li.
“It was only after surgery when we were enquiring after his medical history, that he told us he used the eel to cure his constipation. He inserted it up his anus into his rectum. I suspect it was then that the perforation in his sigmoid colon occurred,” the doctor added.
But did it cure his constipation?
Bladder Splatter of the Week
A man in eastern China has suffered three severe bladder tears from holding urine for 18 hours, according to doctors.
The 40-year-old, known by his surname Hu, allegedly fell into a deep sleep after drinking over 10 bottles of beer during a night out – without going to the toilet once.
Medics were shocked to find that Mr Hu’s bladder had burst with three tears when he was rushed to hospital, Chinese media reported.
The incident came to light after the man sought medical attention at the Zhuji People’s Hospital in Shaoxing of eastern Chinese province Zhejiang after suffering severe abdominal pain.
Mr Hu had gone out and downed more than ten bottles of beer the night before. He then fell asleep and had not used the toilet once since he started drinking, according to Zhuji Daily.
The hungover man was rushed to a local hospital after he woke up with severe abdominal pain next evening.
The doctors found that the patient was unable to lay flat due to the extreme pain and tensed abdominal muscles.
Mr Hu also tried to release the urine but failed after multiple attempts. After conducting a CT scan on Mr Hu, the medics discovered that the man’s bladder had been torn apart with three holes.
One of the tears had even opened up towards his abdominal cavity and caused part of his intestines to enter the bladder.
Hu’s on first with an exploded bladder.
Burning Man of the Week
Man charged with arson after a 7 hour standoff in Poweshiek County
A man is accused of starting several fires and shooting at deputies during a standoff in Poweshiek County. The sheriff’s office says the standoff lasted more than 7 hours.
The incident happened at this home about four miles southeast of Grinnell. Investigators say they first responded to the home around 1:30 p.m. Wednesday after Dwaine Bauman’s family reported he was acting strangely with a gun.
The Sheriff’s Office says he set fire to a home, two vehicles, a barn, and almost 100 hay bales. A friend of Bauman’s says Bauman was upset over a hog confinement project in the area.
Tommy Hexter, the suspect’s friend, said, “He has a message to tell the entire world, he was willing to burn down his whole house, risk his life, fight the police, to free this land from industrial agriculture.”
Authorities took Bauman into custody shortly after 9 p.m. Wednesday night. He is charged with three counts of second-degree arson and intimidation with a dangerous weapon. No one was hurt during this incident.
He hates hogs and cops but he looks like a piece of bacon.
Drunk of the Week
Inmate Died Of Water Intoxication, Sheriff’s Office Says
The Santa Cruz County Sheriff-Coroner’s Office has classified the death of an inmate found dead in his cell May 10 as an accident and said he suffered from water intoxication.
Tamario Smith, 21, died unexpectedly in his cell. He did not share a cell with anyone and there were no visible signs of injury or trauma, the sheriff’s office previously said.
A forensic pathologist determined he drank too much water in a short period of time partly due to mental health issues, causing an electrolyte imbalance that caused his organs to fail, the sheriff’s office said Thursday in a news release.
There is no evidence of trauma, foul play, toxic substances or COVID-19, the sheriff’s office said.
Smith was arrested in January on suspicion of domestic violence-related charges, the sheriff’s office said.
He should have drank Brawndo with electrolytes. It’s what plants crave.
Boob of the Week
Topless Woman Arrested After Letting Her Kids Paint Her Breasts
Rehana Fathima, from Kerala, India, uploaded the video – entitled ‘Body Art and Politics’ – last week, but has since been arrested after several users complained about its content.
The video shows Fathima, who is a well-known campaigner for women’s rights and education about the female body, lying down while her young son and daughter use felt tips and paints to draw on her breasts and stomach.
In a caption posted alongside the video, Fathima made the point that attitudes towards women’s bodies can only be changed through education that starts at home.
She made a comparison between the way women’s bodies are sexualised compared to men’s, writing: ‘Despite being covered up, women’s bodies are being attacked every minute. From infants, to old people to animals, when they are subjected to such violence, the female body is the weapon to defend it.’
‘In a sexually fabricated society, women simply do not feel safe in clothes,’ Fathima continued. ‘You need to be open and open about what the body is and what sex is… If it starts from home, it can bring about changes in society.’
Despite her reasoning, police have registered a criminal case against the activist under Section 67 of the IT Act for electronically transmitting sexually explicit content, and Section 75 of the Juvenile Justice Act for cruelty to a child.
Law enforcement officials confirmed the mother has been booked without the possibility of bail…
She might get off using the “itty bitty titty committee” defense.
WTF? of the Week
Police Arrest Woman Accused Of Urinating On SLC Police Car
A woman accused of urinating on a Salt Lake City police vehicle that was overturned and vandalized during protests in downtown SLC has been arrested.
Officials with the Salt Lake City Police Department said 35-year-old Tamara Lynn Dixon was arrested Saturday and booked into the Salt Lake County Jail on charges of felony riot, lewdness, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Police said Dixon was seen urinating on the patrol vehicle, which was overturned, vandalized and burned by protesters on May 30.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuxjnqO__38
Pooped on a cop car and only got charged with peeing. Now that’s what I call justice reform.
