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Michael Bloomberg Thinks Identifying As A Meatball Will Get Him Elected

Michael Bloomberg Thinks Identifying As A Meatball Will Get Him Elected

Hillary Clinton wrote the book on how to run a bad campaign and loose an election, but Michael Bloomberg is a maverick and is rewriting the rules. With the most embarrassing social media team ever, the billionaire busybody thinks he can attract young voters by acting cool and hip. Actually, he thinks he can get elected by identifying as a meatball. No, seriously, a meatball.

We’ve already seen some awesome failure from Team Bloomberg when they tweeted out a picture of Bloomy looking angrily at a plate of brisket, thinking it was ribs. Somehow this social media campaign got worse. During last night’s democratic debate that Bloomberg couldn’t buy his way into, his people sent out the stupidest tweet storm in recorded history:

If that doesn’t make the ancient billionaire relatable to millennials maybe some of this rich old guy aloofness will do it:

And for some reason there was a lot of food-related tweets:

Which culminated in this:

Clearly what is going on here is that Bloomberg is culturally appropriating by identifying as a meatball. As someone of Swedish descent, I find that incredibly offensive. We consider “meatball” an ethnic slur. Where’s the Viking Anti-Defamation League on this one?

They say that money can’t buy happiness, which is a lie, but money definitely can’t buy relevance. With all of Bloomberg’s billions, the best he can do is people tweeting out his status as a meatball. Hillary Clinton is laughing her saggy ass off at this pathetic campaign and she’s someone who knows what a pathetic campaign looks like.