Elizabeth Warren got kicked in the wigwam on Super Tuesday and anyone with an ounce of integrity would bow out fo the race. Warren however is the “nevertheless she persisted” lady so she’s going to hang in. Initially she was hoping to win enough delegates to contest the democratic party nomination at the convention but that ain’t going to happen so she’s on to plan B. Warren’s path to the White House now involves a zombie apocalypse and time traveling heroes. No seriously, this is where she’s at.
Politico wrote a piece about the disaster of Elizabeth Warren’s campaign that was unintentionally funny:
Elizabeth Warren had a plan for winning. It didn’t work: In 18 nomination contests, she hasn’t finished above third place — including in her home state.
This past weekend, the campaign and allies predicted that the field winnowing would redound to Warren’s benefit. It didn’t.
Now, she’s facing political and financial pressures to get out.
On Wednesday, Warren began huddling with her team to “assess the path forward,” according to an aide, after her dismal Super Tuesday performance. Allies who speak regularly with the campaign say the mood has been bleak.
Politico also covered some of the people in Warren’s campaign who are freaking the hell out, but one staffer sees the path forward to put Elizabeth Warren in the Oval Office. Her campaign design director explains:
“This is a product of a sad drunk brain and a lifetime of sci-fi, but I keep thinking about the Coronavirus and fiction universe in which it turn us all into zombies and a small group of heroes try to go back in time to elect Warren because she was the only one with a plan,” wrote the staffer.
Hillary Clinton is kicking herself for not thinking of this to undo the results of the 2016 election.
So the simple plan to get Warren the presidency is to hope the coronavirus turns people into zombies and then also hope that someone invents time travel at about the same time, so heroic individuals can go back in time and get Liz elected?
I can think of a few problems with this starting with zombies and time machines aren’t real things nor are they likely to ever be real things. That aside, this plan is completely stupid.
If Warren can’t even win a democratic primary, how is she going to win the presidency? Imagine if a few months ago some people showed up and said, “we are from the future and you must elect Elizabeth Warren because she’s the only who can stop the coming zombie apocalypse.” Do you think that would have gained her any more support in the early voting states?
If Warren got up and bragged about her endorsement from the the traveling heroes, her campaign would have tanked much sooner than it actually did. Marianne Williamson tried that kind of crazy talk and she did much much worse that Elizabeth Warren.
Besides, xenophobic President Trump would have intercepted these time travelers at the border of our reality and detained them indefinitely, separating the families and putting their kids in cages.
The biggest flaw with this plan however is that Elizabeth Warren would never have been able to stop the zombie apocalypse. Her actual plan to stop the coronavirus is to open the borders and flood the country with people infected with the disease. The only thing that would happen if time travelers were able to get Warren in the White House would be an accelerated schedule for humanity’s demise.
